I remember the morning after he passed away in our home, waking up on the couch, still numb and struggling to put one foot in front of the other. I stood in the kitchen, looking out the back door thinking, “life. this is my life. and it is still so beautiful.” Somehow, something greater than me, gave me the ability to see beauty, after the devastation that had just occurred to me and my 14 month old son – my husband, his father, was gone. Forever.
Austin, my late husband and I started this business in 2010, while we were planning our wedding and experiencing wedding photography from the other side – as a bride and groom. We had always dreamed that our business would be successful enough to allow one, or both of us to quit our “real” jobs and pursue photography full time. While we were very successful and growing each year, Austin’s devastating illness never really let us get very far. With every stride, we had a set back, and with every “a-ha” moment, there was a “whew” with his health status. It wasn’t an easy two years, but we did what we could to keep our business floating while trying to keep him alive.
After Austin passed away, I quit. At times, I wanted to quit life all together so I definitely wanted to quit our photography business. This business was OURS, it was HIS, it was HIS talent and self-taught determination that taught ME everything. I didn’t want any part of it anymore – because he was gone, our dreams were gone, my passion was gone. I was done. I quit.
A few months after he passed away I had a scheduled wedding that at the last minute decided to shoot. I did it. The day after that wedding, culling the images, seeing what I was capable of creating, completely changed my perspective. That’s all it took. One wedding. I was on board again. I was excited, I was dreaming, I had confidence, I was ready to learn and grow, I wanted it – my passion was back.
Here we are now, not even 2 years later, still learning and growing, but having more success than Austin and I could have ever dreamed of. Our business is thriving and the day has come that that I can walk away from my “real” job as an ICU nurse. A job I went to school for, my “career” that I have practiced for the last 8 years, I quit. Today, I quit.
I sent in my resignation to Wake Med Hospital and today – April 27th, 2016 – it’s official. I will be working for Bow Tie full time and staying at home with our son James, trying to be the best momapreuner I can be!
I know my Aus is so proud. A huge part of me feels like I am carrying out his dream, living for him, through photography, since he isn’t here to do this himself. I know that none of this would be possible without him, and I am so thankful. He isn’t even on this earth anymore, yet he is still taking care of me.
All my love!
Xo, Ashley
Photo cred to the one-of-a-kind – Katelyn James
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